


Stay Alive

by jeffersonshamilton



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-29
Updated: 2017-10-08
Packaged: 2018-12-21 07:11:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 13,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11938980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jeffersonshamilton/pseuds/jeffersonshamilton
Summary: “You need me alive?” Hamilton asked.Jefferson nodded. He wasn’t going to refute that point.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea if i'm going to finish this fic, fingers crossed i will, i'm aware some things may be wrong or confusing but please dont be scared to PM me or leave me a comment and let me know!

Hamilton woke up at 7 AM to his phone ringing on his bedside table. The contact name read “Aaron Burr” and Hamilton knew he would regret picking up. Hamilton and Burr hadn’t communicated over the phone in ages, Hamilton hadn’t thought of Burr as a friend in ages, there was no reason for Hamilton to write anything more than a cold distant email every now and then, and only if it was necessary. Despite Hamilton’s urge to stay as far away from Burr as possible and go back to bed, Hamilton grabbed his phone and picked up.

 

“Burr? Can I help you?” Hamilton said trying not to sound groggy. He wasn’t sure what he was expecting Burr to say but when Burr yelled down the phone, it took Hamilton by slight surprise. Enemies or not, Hamilton wasn’t in the mood to be yelled at in the early hours of the morning. 

 

“Alexander, how dare you elect Jefferson?!” 

 

And suddenly it clicked in Hamilton’s head. It had been a tie between Jefferson and Burr in the upcoming election and it had been up to Hamilton. Hamilton had been in a conflict with both Jefferson and Burr for many years preceding this election. No matter what though, Hamilton had no interest in electing Burr for president. If it wasn’t Burr, it had to be Jefferson, and so that’s exactly what went down.

 

“How dare you pick Jefferson over me for president? I’ve done so much for you!” Burr yelled even louder. Hamilton was always up for a debate, but to be woken up just to be argued with? And to argue with Burr of all people? It gave Hamilton a bad taste in his mouth and he rolled his eyes before refuting with Burr. 

 

The call went on for about an hour. Every sentence and sensible argument getting more aggressive than the last. During this hour, Hamilton had been more focused on his plans for the day rather than hearing Burr going on and on about something Hamilton couldn’t even change. Hamilton almost always just responded with “That isn’t true!” or “I’m not responsible for that.” But every so often when Burr wasn’t blinded by anger and let Hamilton get a point in, Hamilton would respond with valid points and constructed arguments. 

 

Eventually Hamilton snapped. He sighed and interrupted Burr point blank. “Burr, if you’re trying to pick a fight because I elected Jefferson, I’m not going to go on for much longer. I already elected the man, you’re vice president, it’s not the end of the world. You woke me up and I don’t want to hear any more about this,” Hamilton yelled and strained his voice a bit in the process. 

 

On the other side, Burr had kicked his nightstand and groaned at Hamilton’s insensitivity and nerve to cut him off. Burr took a deep breath. Until it clicked in his head. Burr pursed his lips and simply said “I have a solution. Name a time and place Alexander. Let’s see how things play out, let’s settle who’s the bigger man.”

 

Hamilton was hunched over almost ready to fall asleep, but the second his brain processed what Burr said he widened his eyes and stood up straight. The realization had set in. Should Hamilton accept? Should he accept his possible fate? Set a possible expiration date for his own life? Hamilton sighed and said “You’re on. This Friday at noon. See you at the dueling grounds.” Burr chuckled over the phone and Hamilton heard the three dings’, signalizing Burr had hung up and the call was over. Hamilton dropped his phone and fell back into bed, wondering what he had gotten himself into.

 

Hamilton spent the rest of the day in bed trying to register what was going down on Friday. In all honesty, Hamilton felt he was running out of reasons to stay alive. The main blessing yet curse Hamilton had running through his mind was the loss of Eliza. Somewhere out there, Eliza could be tying another man’s tie, pouring his coffee, kissing him goodbye. With this thought Hamilton internally flinched and felt his heart break. She could also be sleeping, talking to her sister on the phone, or maybe even thinking of alexander, the possibilities we’re endless. With that final thought, Hamilton looked out the window into the busy streets of New York. How could he have gone from having a perfect job in politics, with a beautiful loving wife and a son he would do anything for, to living his life in a depressed state of mind, planning to set his own death date? Hamilton thought of Phillip. How Phillip was in a better place now, probably counting dying in a duel one of his biggest regrets. 

 

With that in mind, Hamilton guilty decided to not cancel the duel. He did however decide to grab his phone and dial the one person he knew would make him feel better.  
“It’s me, Alexander. I need someone right now. Can you come over? I miss you. Tonight? Tonight’s perfect. I’m so excited to see you. Goodbye then.”

 

\---

 

Jefferson had been hard at work all day, not lifting his head for a second. If Jefferson heard a bomb go off his eyes would still be glued to his papers, and his hand wouldn’t let go of his pen if his life depended on it. Jefferson heard talking outside and decided to tune it out, until the doors to his office flew open and none other than Aaron burr walked in, a bag across his shoulder and a scowl on his face. Jefferson glanced up for a second, raised his eyebrows, and looked back down to his papers. 

 

Burr threw his bag to the floor landing at the foot of Jefferson’s desk. “I am going to murder Hamilton, watch!” Burr yelled kicking one of the chairs in front of Jefferson’s desk and crossing his arms. Jefferson was trying his best to focus on his work and pray that Burr would rant and leave, but of course Burr decided to slam his fist onto Jefferson’s desk and demand attention. Jefferson sighed and put his hand to his head. He took a deep breath, put his pen down, and looked up.

 

“Burr, listen to me. Right now, you are going to sit down on the chair you haven’t kicked like a toddler, take a deep breath just like I did, and with your words explain to me what happened. If you ever throw your satchel at my desk or slam your fist down again, I’m going to have you escorted out. Now, like an adult, begin,” Jefferson said. Burr had responded to the calmness with a brand-new state and had sat down in a chair opposite of Jefferson. 

 

“So, I called Hamilton, I haven’t been able to reach Hamilton since his wife moved out. He’s gotten a new take on solitude, but I gave him a piece of my mind! I built that bastard from the ground up, and because of petty differences he didn’t elect me for president? I mean, he hates you, you hate him, it makes no sense he voted for you. So, I challenged him to a duel, and he accepted. Going down just like his cursed son,” Burr started off by sitting down with his arms crossed to standing with his arms thrown in the air and sweating due to his anger.

 

It took Jefferson a good minute or two to understand that Aaron Burr, for such a calm man, had lost his mind, and he would never be more serious about or committed to anything in his life than he was to killing Alexander Hamilton. Jefferson was taken back, and something in what Burr said had given Jefferson a run for his money. Hamilton had given Jefferson his blessing to be in charge for an entire nation of states to the point where he elected him as president. Jefferson owed his position to Hamilton and he’d be damned if he was going to let Hamilton die by Burr’s hands. Jefferson had to remind himself that he still hated Hamilton, but this was too far.

 

Jefferson pursed his lips, “Burr I beg you to put your differences aside. You have no right to take this man’s life. His son died in a similar fashion, his wife left him, I’m asking you for a favor. Beyond politics. You yourself said that you built Hamilton from the ground up. So, if you have invested so much time in Hamilton how are you going to sleep at night knowing you destroyed your own creation?”

 

“You can keep being a girl all you want Jefferson, but I’ll remind you that you’re no one to give me the third degree. I’m calm now, I’m not going to act out of anger. Killing Hamilton is a choice that I’m more than willing to make,” Burr said now taking deep breaths and looking Jefferson right in the eyes.

 

“Get out of my office Burr. Take the day off. I don’t want to see your face until tomorrow,” Jefferson said as calmly as possible. “Excuse me?” Burr said standing up. Jefferson paid no mind to Burr, he had enough things on his mind and now he had to add something else. “Out,” Jefferson said looking back at his work. Just like that Aaron Burr left as quickly as he came.

\---

Hamilton was making coffee when he heard a knock on his door. Hamilton was expecting company, but it was supposed to be later today. Who could be knocking on his door? Hamilton walked slowly to his front door and opened it expecting to see a reverend or a girl scout, but he saw Thomas Jefferson, standing there with his hands behind his back. 

 

Hamilton took a good long look at Jefferson and raised his eyebrows. He couldn’t believe Jefferson was standing right in front of him in a suit and with a slight scowl on his face. It felt like a year before Jefferson stepped forward and said “Are you going to invite me in? Or not?” 

 

Hamilton had escaped his state of shock and nodded, stepping to the side, and letting Jefferson in. Jefferson walked in and observed Hamilton’s house. The smell of coffee, the small amount of light leaking in through the curtains, the decorative paintings, and pictures, it all reminded Jefferson that Hamilton was a person, and deserved to live his life. Jefferson tried to put their differences aside, he tried so hard to tolerate Hamilton and be prepared for any smart remark that might come out of Hamilton’s mouth. 

 

“is there something I can help you with Jefferson? I’m expecting company, and they’re a great deal more pleasant than you are,” Hamilton said going back to the kitchen. “Hamilton, listen to me. I want to say thank you for your services. Thank you for trusting me with the state of our nations, I could never repay you.”

 

Jefferson paused and looked directly at Hamilton. At this point Jefferson’s teeth were clenched and his fists were as well. Being nice to Hamilton was never his strong suit. Hamilton had stopped dead in his tracks, not expecting the politeness that Jefferson was displaying. “You’re welcome. Is that it?” Hamilton asked not staring Jefferson in the eyes. “Excuse me?” Jefferson asked, now aggravated. “You could’ve sent a card in the mail if that’s all you had to say,” Hamilton exclaimed now turning to his coffee pot and grabbing a mug from the cupboard. 

 

“You’re an idiot Hamilton,” Jefferson said scoffing. “What?” Hamilton asked in surprise. All the positivity in the atmosphere had disappeared. “Why did you accept a duel with Burr? Are you trying to kill him or yourself?” Jefferson asked crossing his arms and walking towards Hamilton. Hamilton was sipping his coffee and scowling. Of course, Burr had been parading the duel. “I’m not trying to do anything, and you’re no one to scold me as if I was a little kid,” Hamilton said putting his coffee down.

 

“You listen to me Hamilton, you are in no position to lose your life in such an immature manner. I trust that you’re smarter than this, that you have a brain that’s capable of coming up with an idea to resolve your dispute with Burr in a way that doesn’t involve losing your life. I need you alive, and I don’t care what you say, if you let Burr try and kill you and he doesn’t end up doing it, by the power of god I’ll find a way to kill you myself. You cancel that duel, and you don’t ever accept another one, you hear me?” Jefferson started off calmly explaining his point and ended up raising his voice as he finished what he had to say. 

 

“You need me alive?” Hamilton asked. 

 

Jefferson nodded. He wasn’t going to refute that point. He hated Hamilton but that didn’t mean anything. “Goodbye Hamilton,” and with that, Thomas Jefferson had left Hamilton’s house, slamming the door on his way out.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote the original version of this chapter last night at 2 AM and I didn't like it, so i redid it. that's why the beginning of it might sound so familiar, but the rest is pretty much redone. Also, i made a tumblr! it's hamiltonsjefferson.tumblr.com if you want to leave me anonymous love or hate.

Thomas Jefferson was walking down the corridor of Hamilton’s apartment building when he saw Maria Reynolds stepping out of the elevator. She was wearing a heavy brown coat, reaching all the way to her knees and she was holding a clutch in her left hand. Jefferson felt a twinge of hatred for Maria Reynolds, and in that moment, he had no choice but to act on impulse and give her a piece of his mind. 

“Maria Reynolds, to what do I owe the pleasure?” Jefferson asked sarcastically, now with his arms crossed and his eyes narrowed. Jefferson wasn’t one to meddle in people’s business, he rarely ever cared for office gossip and never cared much for scandals, but it scared Jefferson that Hamilton would be pursuing a choice of repeating one of the mistakes that ruined his chance at being president. Hamilton had accepted a duel, and was now possibly inviting Maria Reynolds back into his life? It puzzled Jefferson and gave him a slightly new perspective on Hamilton.

“Can I help you Jefferson?” Maria asked walking towards Jefferson. Maria didn’t look in any manner that would seem as if she was trying to seduce Hamilton, but who else would she be here to see? Maria also had her arms crossed and she had an eyebrow raised, and a slight scowl on her face. Jefferson had no real reason to hate Maria, but knowing how she manipulated Hamilton, it made him angry. 

It seemed almost stupid that after Hamilton had voted for Jefferson it made Jefferson gain a new view on Hamilton, and while Jefferson still had a great amount of hatred towards Hamilton, he wanted to protect him. Hamilton most likely didn’t need any sort of protection, but Jefferson saw past Hamilton’s exterior and could tell that Hamilton wasn’t in a good emotional state, and more than likely needed someone guarding him from afar. 

“You stay away from Hamilton, He doesn’t need you screwing up his life and damaging his reputation even further,” Jefferson said with harshness in his voice. Maria seemed to flinch a little, uncrossing her arms and putting a guilty look on her face. Jefferson had felt bad for two reasons; he could be wrong. Maria could be here to visit someone other than Hamilton, admittedly unlikely. Jefferson knew what it was like to be accused and it bothered him that the harshness in his tone came off as so much stronger than he intended. 

“I’m not here to see Hamilton, and if I was its none of your business. I thought you hated Hamilton and now you’re trying to protect him? From me? Good luck with that Jefferson, he doesn’t need his enemy looking after him,” Maria said, her scowl returning and her bitterness striking Jefferson stronger than it should have. 

“Maria, before you snap at me I’ll remind you that I’m the president and you’re a washed-up whore. Hamilton is a man of honor. I’m asking you as a favor to leave him alone,” Jefferson said, and as he watched Maria get tears in her eyes he walked past her and clicked the button on the elevator. Standing there waiting for the elevator, he turned to Maria Reynolds and saw her staring at the floor, teardrops making her mascara run. Jefferson felt a pang of sympathy and felt his heart hurt before stepping into the elevator that now arrived.

\---

Maria had knocked on Hamilton’s door and almost immediately regretted her decision. Jefferson had a point, and Maria couldn’t argue with him. She wasn’t coming to sleep with Hamilton, just to aide him in his misery. Hamilton opened the door, his hair messed up and his under eyebags as prominent as ever, his coffee stained shirt and his torn boxers a sign that Eliza leaving wasn’t something Hamilton had forgotten and probably wouldn’t anytime soon. 

“Alexander,” Maria said with sympathy in her voice. It was one thing to hear about Hamilton’s depressed state, it was another thing to see it. Looking at Hamilton made Maria realized that even someone as cruel as Jefferson would easily feel pity and an urge to protect Hamilton.

“Maria,” Hamilton said, his voice cracking in the process. It seemed as if Hamilton and Maria seemed like the broken couple right then and there, both on the verge of a breakdown, dressed inappropriately, and the epitome of pathetic. 

When Maria entered Hamilton’s apartment, she took in the atmosphere, and sighed. There was junk mail on the counter and a sink full of plates, and it took Maria a good minute to gather a reaction to what she was seeing. Maria turned to Hamilton and put on a small sympathetic smile.

“Alexander, I’m going to clean your apartment. It looks like a pigsty in here, and I can’t let you live like this. Meanwhile I go in circles you should let me know why you’ve let yourself go. You’re usually a little bit messy but this Is an all time low,” Maria said already making her way to grab all the discarded take out containers off the coffee table in the living room. 

It took the remainder of the morning and the beginning of the afternoon for Maria to wash the dishes, do laundry, throw out the garbage, and help Hamilton get cleaned up. It was about 2 PM when Maria redid Hamilton’s entire apartment, feeling satisfied with how the place ended up looking, no matter how sore her arms were. 

Maria’s duties didn’t stop there. She also wanted to hear about why Hamilton’s house took over an hour just to organize. Hamilton started with how Eliza was filing for divorce, but even Eliza’s sisters had troubles getting into contact with her. He talked about how he found old photographs of Phillip and how he would do anything to see him smile one more time. Maria felt depressed enough just listening to Hamilton’s problems; she couldn’t imagine living through them. Maria had been living through the afternoon shooting Hamilton sympathetic looks and shaking her head in disapproval at Eliza’s insensitivity, although she knew that she wasn’t in the place to judge or slander Eliza. 

Maria could handle it all, but when Hamilton went into details about his possible duel with Burr, she stopped dead in her tracks. Hamilton confided in Maria and admitted his plan to letting Burr just kill him. Maria felt a pain in her chest and rubbed Hamilton’s back, nodding with understanding. 

Hamilton was in the process of shaving, and stopped in the middle of applying shaving cream to turn to Maria and smile. “Then the stars and the planets must’ve aligned, and get this, Jefferson came to m-“ Hamilton started but Maria cut him off. Hearing Jefferson’s name made Maria scowl and stand up from the toilet where she was sitting, waiting for Hamilton to start shaving, which she had persuaded him to do. “Jefferson came here? To your house?” Maria asked with narrowed eyes. 

Hamilton raised his eyebrows and nodded. “He came and he told me to stay alive.” Hamilton remembered the memory fondly and was slightly shocked at Maria’s reaction.

Maria ran a hand through her hair and rolled her eyes. She recalled this morning and shook her head. It was one thing for Jefferson to accuse Maria of being one of the possibilities of ruining Hamilton’s reputation further, but calling Maria a whore struck her all the wrong way.

“Jefferson gave me a little bit of the third degree this morning, he caught me in the corridor and yelled at me. He called me a whore and he told me to stay away from you,” Maria said tearing up remembering what had happened.

“He yelled at you?” Hamilton asked in shock. What reason could Jefferson have for yelling at Maria? It seemed almost suspicious that Jefferson was inconspicuously protecting Hamilton, making him cancel the duel and trying to get Maria to keep her distance.

“told me to make sure I didn’t damage your reputation further,” Maria said sitting back down onto the toilet. Hamilton raised an eyebrow and begun to shave the right side of his face.  
As he was talking about Jefferson, hearing about Jefferson, and thinking of Jefferson, he scowled a little bit. He still hated Jefferson but recent events made him feel like the feelings might not be reciprocated.

“Maybe I should get going,” Maria said standing up and patting Hamilton on the back. Maria was lost in her thoughts, all the negative feelings making her feel delirious. Hamilton had been focusing on shaving until he realized Maria had left the bathroom. 

“Maria!” Hamilton called after her, leaving his razor discarded on the bathroom counter and the water running. Half his beard was gone but the other half was still intact, he was wearing a more presentable shirt but he still had boxers on (albeit cleaner and more put together than the last pair). “Alexander, I have to go. I have things to take care of, and you have healing to do,” Maria was slipping on her heels and already had her coat on at that point. 

“But I don’t want to be alone,” Hamilton whined. Maria unlocked the door and stepped out into the corridor, turning around to face Hamilton. “You’ll be okay, call me,” Maria said kissing alexander on the part of his face that was clean and shaven. Hamilton watched Maria walk out and turned around to see his neighbor staring at him. “Greetings,” Hamilton said waving his hand and realizing what he was wearing and the state of his facial hair. Embarrassingly he walked back into his apartment, closing the door, and walking back to the bathroom. 

 

\---

 

Lafayette, Angelica, Peggy, and John Laurens, had been drinking beer and having debates about everyday issues all morning, enjoying each other’s company. It wasn’t rare for the four of them to get together. John Laurens had been squatting in his dad’s old apartment, with Lafayette as his roommate, the both working only 4 days out of the week. Angelica and Peggy lived right next door in a shared apartment payed by their father, and since they all had free time they decided on getting together frequently to talk about life and current events.

 

Lafayette was on his third beer when he heard his phone vibrate in his pocket. He took it out and it read “Hamilton” with two red heart emojis. It wasn’t weird that Hamilton was calling Lafayette, but it did worry Lafayette a little, knowing Hamilton’s current state. 

Angelica put her beer down and stared Lafayette down when she realized what was going on. She rolled her eyes and decided to call him out. “Lafayette get off your phone, this is a no phone get together.” 

Lafayette raised one of his eyebrows at her and shook his head, turning back to his phone to answer it, until Laurens grabbed the phone right out of Lafayette’s hands and shaking his finger in Lafayette’s face. Lafayette tried to grab his phone back but it was no point, everyone in the room was in total support of Lafayette not answering the phone, until Lafayette groaned and yelled “Guy’s it’s Alex!”

Laurens gladly dropped the phone into Lafayette’s lap and everyone in the room fell silent. Lafayette picked up and greeted Hamilton.

“Monsieur Hamilton,” Lafayette said putting a finger to his lips and giving everyone in the room a death glare, reminding them to keep quiet. Lafayette heard Hamilton take a deep sigh before admitting he wasn’t too happy about being alone at the moment and Lafayette kept saying “I understand.” Or “Yeah of course, that’s normal.”

Eventually Lafayette hung up and looked at everyone with a slight smile on his face, “I guess we’re going to go visit Hamilton.”

\---

When Hamilton heard a knock on his door, he opened it up to see most of his friends wearing their big coats and smiles on their faces. Angelica and Peggy kissed Hamilton on the cheek as a greeting, and the rest all gave him a half hug and clapped his back. “How nice of you to all come,” Hamilton said sarcastically, making sure to put emphasis on the all.

“No problem Alexander, anything for you,” Laurens said walking into Hamilton’s kitchen and getting out old take out from the fridge. “So, what’s been happening with you Hamilton?”

 

“Well, I was hoping this information would stay between me and Lafayette but since you’re all here, I think it’s good that I get an entire group’s opinion on this.” Hamilton said sighing and sitting down in his living room where Peggy and Angelica were already sat. So, over the course of the next hour Hamilton told the events of his life, including everything, from his fight with Burr, to his events with Jefferson, until finally talking about his evening with Maria. 

Hamilton had been staring into space while retelling all of this, ignoring everyone’s judgmental gaze, and when he finally finished talking to look up and see all his friends in different state of reactions. Laurens was in complete shock, not understanding how after a year of sleeping with someone like Maria Reynolds, Hamilton had sustained something platonic with her. Lafayette had his brows furrowed, trying to understand the situation better. Peggy looked appalled, a scowl on her face and only slightly trying to mask it, and Hamilton couldn’t help but wonder what aspect of the entire story made Peggy make the face she was making. 

In the corner of the room, Angelica was smiling like she knew something Hamilton didn’t, and that’s what made Hamilton the most curious. “If you have something to say then say it schuyler,” Hamilton said staring right at Angelica. 

Angelica raised her eyebrows and scratched her head. Everyone in the room was looking at her and she took a deep sigh before starting. “Alexander, Jefferson made you call off a duel, to make sure you would stay alive. He tried to protect you from a worse reputation, and he personally attacked an assumed lover. I know Jefferson says he hates you but I think that he’s trying to mask another emotion. But that’s just my opinion.” 

Everyone in the room had fallen silent and Hamilton narrowed his eyes at Angelica. Angelica scoffed and rolled her eyes, looking at Peggy, Laurens, and Lafayette for support. All three we’re completely silent, not wanting to upset Hamilton. 

Angelica knew how to get to Hamilton. She turned to her friends and politely asked them to give her and Hamilton a moment, which Peggy, Laurens, and Lafayette had no right to do anything but oblige. When they left, Angelica got up and got on her knees in front of Hamilton, holding his hands. 

“Alexander, I love you. You’re not with Eliza because you aren’t meant to be with Eliza. It’s okay. Eliza isn’t coming back. Let yourself be loved. Eliza hasn’t told me anything but I know she isn’t coming back. So, do yourself a favor and if Jefferson does love you, or even like you, love him back. Give back those feelings.” Angelica was near tears at this point, Hamilton’s happiness being one of the main priorities Angelica had.

Angelica kissed Hamilton’s forehead and rubbed his cheek with her thumb. “I’m going to get going. Take care of yourself Alexander. Even Eliza would want that for you.”

Angelica called her friends, and they all left the room, saying their goodbyes to Hamilton on their way out. 

“We’ll be back monsieur,” Lafayette said giving his most sincere smile and holding Hamilton’s hand for a split second before slipping on his coat and walking towards the door. Laurens kissed Hamilton’s forehead and wrapped his arm around Hamilton’s shoulders, “Call me whenever.” Angelica nodded at Hamilton, making the small promise of dropping by in the next week. Peggy kissed Hamilton’s cheek and gave him the biggest hug she could muster.

After they all left, Hamilton sat down on his couch and sulked until two hours later he got up since he heard his phone vibrate. The contact name read “Thomas Jefferson” and he narrowed his eyes and furrowed his eyebrows. Hamilton decided on picking up, hearing Angelica’s voice in the back of his head telling him to do so.

“Hello?” Hamilton said hesitantly. Hamilton feared being yelled at again, but instead was met with Jefferson’s gentle voice.

“Alexander, I hope our talk this morning didn’t scare you too much. Stay alive for me. Goodbye.” Jefferson hung up and Hamilton was met with silence once again.


	3. Chapter 3

Thomas Jefferson had spent his day on edge because of his conversation with Hamilton that morning. Making Maria cry, yelling at Hamilton, it all seemed like a very bad dream. Jefferson had ended his day with a cramp in his hand from so much writing and a troubled mind that was giving him a headache. He decided to lay down on his bed and stare at the ceiling wondering why he felt this sudden urge of protection over Hamilton. Hamilton was a full grown man, he understood consequences and while Hamilton had a history of doing stupid stuff; he was responsible and knew better than to die in a duel. Right?

Jefferson decided it would be better to go to sleep, to shut his brain off since he had a long day ahead of him tomorrow. He tossed and turned and finally decided on getting up when he knew there was no chance of his thoughts being quiet anytime soon. He reached for his phone, unlocking it, and looking through his contacts. He decided on calling the person who he knew would give him the best advice, who always gave him the best advice, Hamilton related or not.

Jefferson took deep breaths while the phone rang, wondering if he should hang up or not. Eventually the phone did pick up and he bit his bottom lip.

“Well if it isn’t Mr. Jefferson,” Angelica said on the other side of the phone. Angelica sounded mildly annoyed, knowing Jefferson rarely called for anything but a favor. At the end of the day though, Angelica sort of liked giving Jefferson advice and helping with anything she could.

“I need you to come over. Now. No excuses, it’s important,” Jefferson said and hung up. He had half of a brain, he knew that Angelica would be over soon enough. Jefferson lied awake waiting for Angelica’s arrival, wondering how Hamilton was doing, wondering if there was even a point in saying that he hated Hamilton anymore. Actions speak louder than words, and Jefferson’s actions said so much more than he wanted them too.

\---

Jefferson had been scrolling through social media for the past half hour, until he heard a knocking at his double doors. He got up and opened the doors, smiling when he saw Angelica standing there, with an eyebrow raised, but eventually she smiled and initiated a hug with Jefferson, Jefferson of course being quick to wrap his arms around her waist and kissing her head. It took Angelica a good minute for her to remember that she was here to give Jefferson advice for something he probably caused and she pulled away, happy to be in his company.

“So, Jefferson, how did you mess up this time?” Angelica asked taking off her coat and setting it on the foot of the bed. Jefferson’s room always had this strange atmosphere to it, but it was beautifully decorated and anywhere that Jefferson lived pretty much had a strange atmosphere to it. Angelica took off her shoes and set them aside, now facing Jefferson with a scowl on his face. 

“So, I went to see Hamilton this morning,” Jefferson started, but quickly stopped seeing Angelica roll her eyes and fall back onto Jefferson’s bed. Angelica looked at Jefferson, who was now standing there with his arms crossed and a quizzical expression on his face. “Can I help you schyuler?” 

Angelica stopped being so irritated instead laughing at how Jefferson said that, reminding her of how Hamilton said the same thing to her. It seemed like Jefferson and Hamilton we’re much on the same wavelength, more than Angelica had previously thought. Angelica sat up and crossed her arms. “I know what happened with Hamilton. He told me.”

Jefferson shook his head and questioned when had Hamilton had angelica over? After all that happened Angelica and Hamilton we’re still in contact? Jefferson narrowed his eyes walking towards the bed, scowling. “What?” 

“This afternoon, Hamilton invited me and my sister over, well he invited Lafayette over, but we tagged along. Oh, and Laurens,” Angelica said recollecting that afternoon’s events. Jefferson scoffed, and Angelica shrugged.

“So, Hamilton told you everything that happened? Our morning together?” Jefferson asked, of course he didn’t ask Hamilton to keep it a secret, so Hamilton had every right to tell whoever he wanted, and of course Jefferson did call up Angelica planning on telling her every detail of what had happened. But, still.

Angelica spent a good twenty minutes talking about all that Hamilton had said, but towards the end she hesitated about what to say next. Angelica knew that telling Jefferson that she thought Jefferson had a thing for Hamilton wouldn’t go over to well, but in the end, she decided to tell him in a very brief statement and hope he didn’t question it. She took a deep breath, “Then, I told Hamilton why you were doing all this and I left.”

Jefferson had so many questions, but was mostly grateful for the fact that nothing happened with Maria and Hamilton and they had kept things strictly platonic. Jefferson didn’t miss the last thing Angelica said though, wondering what she could mean by it. Why Jefferson was doing all this?

“Wait, what I mean by all this? What are you talking about?” Jefferson asked. 

Angelica froze, trying to find a way to change the subject. “Thomas, maybe I should come over again tomorrow night and we’ll talk about this more in depth.” Angelica tried to get up, but Jefferson took a step forward and Angelica sat back down, knowing she shouldn’t even try getting out of this. Angelica made the decision to just tell him, expecting the worse.

“Thomas, you attacked someone who you though Alexander was sleeping with. You made him back out of a duel. You’ve spent your days with your heart full of hate and then suddenly you say you want Hamilton alive. It just doesn’t sound like you hate him,” Angelica said and gave Jefferson a look of sympathy when Jefferson uncrossed his arms and nodded with a look of understanding. Almost like someone had pushed a button, Jefferson remembered that he couldn’t like Hamilton. He couldn’t dream about kissing Hamilton, or wiping his tears, or being the reason Hamilton couldn’t ever possibly accept a duel. Jefferson snapped out of his thoughts and narrowed his eyes at Angelica.

“You think I like Hamilton?” Jefferson scoffed. Angelica didn’t get mad, didn’t try and fight with Jefferson. “Thomas,” Angelica said in a serious tone. Jefferson sighed and nodded. He sat down next to Angelica and looked at her. Angelica rubbed Jefferson’s back and raised an eyebrow. 

“What if I did like Hamilton? He would never return my feelings!” Jefferson said brushing off Angelica’s hand, “He hates me, he wouldn’t ever even consider liking me.” Angelica didn’t want to admit it, but in all honesty Jefferson had a point. Angelica knew that Jefferson had feelings for Hamilton, especially after tonight, but she wasn’t so sure about Hamilton. However, after giving it some thought it did strike Angelica as questionable that Hamilton seemed almost at peace after she suggested that Jefferson liked him.

Hamilton had talked about Jefferson in a fond way, and it looked like he was trying his best to not talk negatively about him, so Angelica couldn’t confirm that Hamilton hated Jefferson after all. “Let’s call him,” Angelica said, she had run out of things to say and didn’t know what else to say, but it didn’t seem like such a bad idea to call Hamilton at all.

“what?” Jefferson asked, he was wondering if Angelica had lost her mind, but she was already leaning over to grab Jefferson’s phone, holding it in her hand and reaching it out. “No way,” Jefferson said making a disgusted face. “We left him alone, and the last phone call he received was a death wish. Call him.” 

Jefferson grabbed his phone and unlocked it.  
-

Angelica and Jefferson were sitting cross legged facing each other on Jefferson’s bed. “Thomas we’ve been over this a hundred times. Just say Hi and ask him how he’s doing,” Angelica said rolling her eyes. “It’s not that easy,” Jefferson said.

“Oh my god,” Angelica said grabbing Jefferson’s phone and unlocking it, dialing Hamilton’s number, and handing it back to Jefferson. Jefferson’s mind went into overdrive and he shook his head, but Hamilton had picked up, and Jefferson acted on the spot.

Jefferson heard Hamilton’s voice and it made Jefferson want to run to Hamilton’s apartment and reclaim his dumb attraction to Hamilton right then and there. Jefferson took a deep breath and spat out exactly what he wanted to say.

“Alexander, I hope our talk this morning didn’t scare you too much. Stay alive for me. Goodbye.”

Jefferson hung up immediately and fell back down onto the bed. Angelica was hardly shocked, laughing into her hands instead. Jefferson groaned and put his hands over his face, “Fuck off schyuler!” 

“It’s so much worse than you thought, and so much better than I thought,” Angelica said falling back as well. Jefferson shook his head and stayed down, looking up at the ceiling wondering how his life had ended up like this. “Well Thomas, it’s been great watching you suffer over your love for Hamilton, but I’ve got to go,” Angelica said sitting up and patting Jefferson’s thigh. “You should stay over,” Jefferson said sitting up as well. “I don’t see the problem with that,” Angelica said looking at Jefferson. 

So maybe, Jefferson did have a schoolyard crush on Hamilton. But he also had some of the best people in his life he couldn’t live without. So maybe things would be all right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope the fluff in this chapter made up for all the negativity in the past two. Just a quick reminder if you want to send me anonymous hate or love my tumblr is https://hamiltonsjefferson.tumblr.com 
> 
> On that note, i'm trying to post every two or three days, but if that goes wrong you have school to blame.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is sort of a short chapter! I have a reason. I'm in Hurricane Irma's path, and I might be busy for a while, so I hope this premature upload will be good for now. If you're also in Hurricane Irma's path stay safe! My tumblr is hamiltonsjefferson.tumblr.com and I'll try and be active on there, also feel free to send me anonymous hate or love!

Hamilton didn’t have a single clue as to what Jefferson meant by that call, but he had to admit it filled him with a sense of calamity. He got up from his couch, and walked to his room, his heart feeling heavy in his chest and a warm feeling spreading throughout his body. Hamilton got changed, and crawled under his covers, staring at the ceiling. He wondered if Jefferson was also having a sleepless night, and that was the reason he had called Hamilton. Hamilton shook it off, it had probably been Jefferson’s conscious snapping into place and letting him know that showing up at someone’s house uninvited to yell at them was pretty rude. 

Hamilton had tossed and turned, before thinking to himself that this was nothing to lose sleep over.

Hamilton wondered how he had lost so many brain cells. He thought it over, and he hated Jefferson. He hated everything about Jefferson, including how Jefferson laughed with his whole body, how Jefferson had the same surprisingly attractive pose in all the photos he took. But mostly he hated how Jefferson could be caring. Hamilton was pretty sure he didn’t need Jefferson’s protection or his fake pseudo-caretaker attitude. 

But on top of all of this, Hamilton hated that this was affecting him. Hamilton had his heart set out to be full of hate in regards to Jefferson, but as it turns out, that’s not how Hamilton felt at all. Hamilton was losing sleep because of Jefferson, his heart racing, and his mind in overdrive due to Jefferson’s affection. Hamilton realized he only hated one person, and that was himself. He only hated himself for one reason; he spent the past couple of years devoting his life to hating Jefferson and now he felt himself falling for Jefferson. With that conclusion Hamilton sighed and unlocked his phone. The brightness of the screen made him flinch slightly, but he accustomed his eyes. Looking up Jefferson’s name in the search bar of Safari, he was greeted with a photo of Jefferson smiling proudly. The preview of the article read that this photo was taken when Jefferson had been elected for president, and Hamilton locked his phone, now getting sleepy with the satisfaction of knowing he caused that smile. 

Hamilton looked out his window, looking at the full moon. He yawned and smiled, closing his eyes and falling asleep.

\---

In the morning, at around 6 AM Angelica woke up to her phone vibrating and she put out her hand to blindly reach for it, knocking over a cup of water that was on Jefferson’s nightstand in the process. The falling of the cup and the glass shattering woke up Jefferson slightly and woke up Angelica entirely. Angelica looked at the cup broken on the floor and sighed, grabbing her phone and picking up. 

“Hello?” Angelica said in a sleepy voice.

“Angelica! Where are you?” Peggy screamed down the line. Angelica remembered that the night beforehand, Peggy was already asleep when Jefferson called, and Angelica had left. “I’m with Jefferson, he had a little bit of a crisis, are you all right?” Angelica asked, still groggy. At this point, Jefferson was opening his eyes, groaning from being suddenly awoken. “I need you to go to Alexander’s place, I left my purse there,” Peggy said whining slightly, Angelica rolled her eyes and was about to decline, before remembering she was with Jefferson, and it was an excuse for Hamilton and Jefferson to have an encounter, albeit a short one. 

“I’ll be there eventually peggs, love you, bye,” Angelica said hanging up. Jefferson had woken up and had been staring at Angelica, an eyebrow raised. “We have to go to Hamilton’s house, so get ready,” Angelica said quickly. She went to go get up before remembering the broken glass on her side of the bed. “By the way, someone should clean that up,” Angelica said, climbing over Jefferson, and heading into the bathroom. 

Jefferson was still groggy, his mind not processing what Angelica had said just yet. When Jefferson realized that Angelica had planned for them to go to Hamilton’s house he shot up, following Angelica into the bathroom. When Jefferson stopped Angelica from closing the door, Angelica groaned and pushed back, “Thomas, there’s obviously more than one bathroom in the white house, get out.”

“I am not going to Hamilton’s house, what are you talking about?” He said still trying to force the door open. Angelica rolled her eyes and stopped trying to force the door closed, stepping aside, and letting Jefferson slightly trip due to the absence of her force. She crossed her arms and stared right at him, “Peggy forgot her purse at Hamilton’s house so we’re going to go get it. It’s that simple Thomas. Go get ready,” Angelica said, patiently waiting for Jefferson to step out.

“What makes you think I want to do that?” Jefferson asked, although he should’ve figured that he knew the answer to this. Since coming to terms with his feelings, he was positive that he wanted to do nothing except go see Hamilton, feeling grateful to be around him. He must’ve been a little too obvious with this, because Angelica had her eyebrow raised and Jefferson nodded saying “Yeah, I know the answer to this.” 

\---

“Thomas, are you shaking?” Angelica asked on the elevator ride up to Hamilton’s apartment, noticing how Jefferson had been trembling lightly ever since they left Jefferson’s house. Jefferson stared Angelica down, narrowing his eyes and shaking his head. “Shut up.”

As soon as the elevator got to Hamilton’s floor, Jefferson’s heart was racing and Angelica noticed his anxious behavior, putting an arm around his lower back and smiling sincerely at him, “It’ll be fine.”

When they had walked to Hamilton’s door and Angelica knocked three times, waiting for Hamilton it made the situation feel so much more real, making Jefferson internally flinch and he had to clear his throat bracing himself for Hamilton.

When Hamilton answered, his hair was into a bun and he was wearing a big T shirt and a tight pair of boxers, and Jefferson felt his heart skip a beat. Jefferson had gotten to known Hamilton’s appearance over the years pretty well, but now that Jefferson felt himself being attracted to Hamilton, everything about Hamilton seemed so much more precious. Hamilton’s slight undereye bags, they made Jefferson swoon. The strands of hair falling from Hamilton’s bun, Jefferson wanted to run his hands through them. The slight stubble on Hamilton’s cheeks, it all made Jefferson realize that Angelica was nothing short of right; it really was so much worse than he had previously thought. But his feelings for Hamilton were pure, and it made Jefferson feel better to see Hamilton in a brand-new light. 

Hamilton had skipped over Angelica, his eyes going directly to Jefferson. Jefferson was wearing casual clothing and it made Hamilton smile, to see Jefferson in everyday clothing instead of his usual expensive suit. Hamilton wanted to grab fistfuls of Jefferson’s everyday shirt and hug Jefferson so tight that Jefferson would jokingly say “ow!” and they’d both laugh and genuinely at each other.

“Thomas Jefferson,” Alexander said smiling and crossing his arms.

“Alexander Hamilton,” Thomas said smiling back and shrugging.

Things we’re looking up.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't updated in a while due to the power outages because of Irma, but I hope this chapter is good, and I hope you all stayed safe during Irma if you were in it's path! My Tumblr is hamiltonsjefferson.tumblr.com if you want to send me anything anonymously.

Hamilton realized the absurdity of the situation soon after, he had spent so much time being grateful that Jefferson was at his front door that he didn’t notice how weird it was that Angelica and Jefferson had just come without even a call or a text in advance. Hamilton furrowed his eyebrows at the two of them. “What made you two stop by?” Hamilton asked, he didn’t like being home alone, but it took him by surprise. Due to previous encounters, Hamilton knew Jefferson was the type to show up uninvited, not to mention sometimes unwanted. What really made Hamilton so suspicious was that Jefferson and Angelica showed up together, at the exact same time. Jefferson and Angelica didn’t have a strained relationship by any means, but Hamilton would never expect just the two of them to show up, especially if it wasn’t just some freak coincidence. 

Angelica suddenly remembered the real reason she was there, something past wanting Hamilton and Jefferson to spend time together, and pushed past Hamilton to the side to step in and looked around the living room, “Peggy left her purse here, have you seen it?” Angelica figured she would have to do some stalling, especially if she had found it in the next ten minutes. Angelica promptly began flipping couch cushions, and looking behind pillows.

Jefferson was still standing awkwardly in the hallway, and Hamilton turned around to face him, suddenly becoming very aware of how Jefferson had his eyes fixated on the floor, and shuffling his feet slightly. 

Hamilton was almost never short of words, but this situation gave him a strange feeling, and he didn’t know what to say at all. He could approach the situation in a million different ways. He would usually close the door on Jefferson, not even taking a second to acknowledge him, and would be begged by Angelica to stop being a brat and open the door. In that circumstance, Hamilton would resentfully let Jefferson in, and prod fun at Jefferson’s hair or what he was wearing, or whatever else he wanted to make fun of, tormenting Angelica in the process. But Hamilton liked Jefferson, and so that was the last thing Hamilton wanted to happen. Hamilton began brain storming, until finally deciding on crossing his arms and saying, “you can come in you know.”

Jefferson snapped his head up, and smiled, stepping in and taking in Hamilton’s apartment, taking notice that it looked a lot cleaner than the previous morning. After taking in his surroundings, he turned around to see Hamilton closing the door and locking it. Jefferson wondered what it would be like to sneak up on Hamilton and playfully jab him in the side just to hear his laugh, or to press a kiss behind Hamilton’s ear, just to watch Hamilton shudder slightly before kissing Jefferson full on. Jefferson was imagining he was living in a world completely different from the one that he was currently in, all he could do was hope that things would turn out different. When Hamilton turned around, he smiled at Jefferson and went, “And you?” 

Jefferson raised an eyebrow, and went “And me?”

Hamilton rolled his eyes, “You’re here because?”

Jefferson realized what Hamilton meant and was sort of stuck, not really knowing what to say. Jefferson wanted to spit out the actual reason he was there, admitting that he was pretty reluctant to visit Hamilton, that Angelica dragged him along, he wasn’t one for bluffing, but instead Jefferson opted for something softer, “I wanted to see you Alexander.”

The nicety didn’t really shock Hamilton but hearing his own name with Thomas’s voice sounded like music to his ears, and it did make his heart race, and Hamilton smiled and went “I wanted to see you too. Pretty convenient that you came over.” Hamilton was racking his brain for something to say, but he realized he that if he let things take their course, everything would end up okay. It dawned on him that he still had a duel pending, it was supposed to go down Friday and it was Tuesday now, and he still didn’t plan to cancel his duel with Burr. He supposed he could bring it up later, and settled for commenting on how Jefferson was unusually quiet, “Cat got your tongue?”

“I beg your pardon?” Jefferson asked smirking, crossing his arms, and raising his eyebrow, calling out Hamilton’s hypocrisy. “You’re one to talk Alexander, you never shut up and I bet you’re itching to get out a paragraph about how I’m doing a horrible job as president.”

Hamilton narrowed his eyes and stepped forward, scoffing, “Well you’re wrong. I don’t have a single thing to say about the joke this nation calls a president.”

Jefferson took another step towards Hamilton, his arms still crossed and his eyebrows furrowed. They were toe to toe at this point, practically forehead to forehead, Jefferson realized this, and said “If I’m a joke you must have a really bad sense of humor, because after all, you elected me.”

Hamilton realized how close they were, swallowed, took a deep breath, and started laughing. It was so weird how a year ago, Hamilton saw Eliza every single morning, Hamilton kissed Phillip’s forehead every morning, Hamilton spent his days wishing Jefferson didn’t live to see tomorrow, and now Hamilton had no Eliza, had no Phillip, and no hatred for Jefferson. Jefferson smiled but furrowed his eyebrows, “What, What?” 

Hamilton looked Jefferson directly in the eyes and said, “I just can’t believe you’re here.” 

Hamilton heard footsteps, and turned to see Angelica walking down the hallway with Peggy’s purse in her hand, smiling, she cheered, “found it!” 

Jefferson and Hamilton both just stared at her, their minds in overdrive due to how close they were. Jefferson cleared his throat and nodded, “good job.” 

Knowing what this meant, Hamilton and Jefferson both looked at each other and frowned, and Hamilton said, “So does that mean you have to go?” 

“I’m afraid so darling,” Jefferson said, he didn’t understand where his confidence was coming from, he entered the building where Hamilton lived shaking, but when he got upstairs he was feeling so much better, his anxiety ceasing to exist. The pet name put a smile on Hamilton’s face, and it made him feel a lot better. 

Jefferson acted out in the moment and said, “How about we have breakfast tomorrow morning? Just the two of us? We can talk about the entire Burr situation.” 

The invitation made Hamilton smile widely and nod, his entire mood shifting, “I’ll be sure to see you then.” 

Jefferson raised an eyebrow and looked at Hamilton expectedly, “I’ll be sure to see you then, Thomas.” Hamilton said. Jefferson smiled at Hamilton and then turned to see Angelica and nodded towards the door, Angelica nodding and walking towards Hamilton to kiss him on the cheek, “Bye Alexander, call me, and take care,” before lopping her arm with Jefferson and walking out the door. 

\---


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow wow wow, I've been trying so hard to update frequently. I feel like I left this chapter pretty unfinished, but I promise chapter 7 will be up soon. I feel like they're might be troubled waters for the next couple chapters, but what's a fic without problems? With that being said, for the 80th time my tumblr is hamiltonsjefferson.tumblr.com if you want to leave me anonymous love or hate.

“Breakfast,” Angelica said in the back of Jefferson’s limousine, “You went from hating Hamilton to inviting him to breakfast.” Angelica wasn’t the type of person to judge, and she had done a good job at dragging a very stubborn Jefferson to Hamilton’s house, but Angelica couldn’t resist pointing out Jefferson’s shift in behavior.

“I don’t hate him anymore, isn’t that what’s really important?” Jefferson asked. He wondered if Hamilton was also questioning the sudden change. Jefferson had to admit, it made his heart race to know that his feelings seemed reciprocated either way. Angelica scoffed and crossed her legs, “If you say so.”

\--- 

Hamilton felt like he was on top of the world, wanting to call everyone in his contact list, letting them know that he was head over heels. He wanted to open his windows and scream to the streets of New York that for the first time that year, he smiled genuinely and his heart was filled with love. He wanted to write a book about how he felt, write giant paragraphs until his hand cramped up. 

But realistically, Hamilton couldn’t call everyone in his contact list because, well, Aaron Burr wouldn’t be too pleased to hear about that. Neither would John Adams for that matter, and there’s a good chance over half the people he called wouldn’t care at all. Hamilton did consider opening up his window, but he knew New Yorkers weren’t the kindest people alive, and he would most likely get told to shut up promptly. In the end, Hamilton decided that maybe writing a book, or maybe even just writing down his feelings to get them out was pretty good, but he decided on something far better. 

Whenever Hamilton was in doubt, his first instinct was to call Lafayette. When Hamilton first started sleeping with Maria, he called Lafayette five minutes after they first hooked up, and Lafayette talked him through the entire ordeal. All of Hamilton’s fears and doubts had been dismissed by Lafayette. When Eliza found out about the affair, Hamilton called up Lafayette and Lafayette had come over with comfort food, and rubbed Hamilton’s back while Hamilton cried under his sheets. He called up Lafayette when Jefferson started showing his affection, and Lafayette had been there. He always would be.

Hamilton called up Lafayette, and felt his heart race when Jefferson said “Hello?”

“Lafayette, get ready. I’m coming over, and I have news.” Hamilton said, already standing up and walking towards the coat hanger. “I hope it’s good, Alexander,” Lafayette said in a hopeful voice. Hamilton didn’t bother confirming that, and hung up slinging on his coat and walking out the door.

\--- 

Hamilton walked into Lafayette’s apartment, smiling widely. He smiled the whole way there, his smile never faltering. Lafayette and Laurens were sitting at the dining room table, while Peggy was in the kitchen preparing something. “Look who it is,” Peggy said looking up to Hamilton from the cutting board and giving him a smile, “What’s with the check in Alexander?”

“It’s a beautiful day, and we’re all so lucky to be alive,” Hamilton said, making his way to the kitchen and kissing Peggy on the cheek. Hamilton rubbed Peggy’s arm, and Peggy gave him a scowl, but Hamilton just shrugged and hugged Peggy from the back. 

Lafayette gave Laurens a quizzical look, furrowing his eyebrows and pursing his lips. Lafayette would never do anything to make Hamilton less happy, but this was something brand new. Hamilton wasn’t an overall grumpy person, but Lafayette hadn’t seen Hamilton so over the top happy in a long time, and yesterday Hamilton seemed like nothing in the world could brighten his mood. Laurens shrugged and looked at Hamilton, which was still giving Peggy a deep hug while she continued cooking.

“Alexander, did you get a hummer on your way over here?” Laurens asked, it wasn’t a genuine question, but truthfully, it could’ve been possible. Hamilton looked in Laurens direction and walked over to him, smiling widely at him. Laurens raised an eyebrow and Hamilton hugged Laurens, kissing his neck and his cheek, while Laurens just sat there wondering if Hamilton had a lot more than a hummer on his way over. “So yes?” Laurens asked looking at Hamilton. 

“Something a lot better happened, and you guys aren’t going to believe what,” Hamilton said, he pulled away from Laurens and looked at Lafayette with a knowing look on his face. “You,” Hamilton said poking Lafayette’s chest. “Me,” Lafayette said raising an eyebrow. Hamilton hugged Jefferson and kissed him on the cheek before shrugging and giving Lafayette a quick peck on the lips. At this, Lafayette rolled his eyes and pushed Hamilton off, now really wondering what was going on.

“before you get carried away with your happiness and sodomize us all, tell us what happened,” Peggy said observing Lafayette’s discomfort. Hamilton talked about his feelings for Jefferson, how they we’re going out for breakfast the next morning, every detail. 

Peggy had stopped cooking at that point, sitting down next to Hamilton, and acknowledging everything he was saying, and nodding in approval every now and then. Lafayette and Laurens had now understood Hamilton’s sudden burst of happiness, and they were in shock at how Angelica turned out to be right. 

“How beautiful, Alexander has gotten over my sister. Took you long enough,” Peggy said smiling appreciatively at Hamilton and holding his hand over the table. “it sure did,” Hamilton said winking at her.

Hamilton spent the rest of his evening drinking beer with Laurens, Lafayette, and Peggy, filling in for Angelica in the little group they all had. Hamilton was so content with how he fit in, trying his best to live in the moment and not stressing about anything. It was around 8 when Hamilton felt his phone vibrating in his pocket and he took it out, looking at the contact name.

Whatever Peggy had been rambling about, had been drowned out. Lafayette and Laurens’s loud voices which were currently refuting Peggy’s points; all of it was drowned out. Hamilton’s smile was gone for the first time in hours, and he dropped his beer, hearing the glass shatter and barely noticing how Laurens and the rest had stopped talking, or arguing, and stared at Hamilton.

“Aaron Burr.”

Hamilton got up, gave a look to the rest, and walked outside to the passage way. Hamilton looked around the hallway, making sure no one overheard the conversation he was about to have. With shaking hands, Hamilton picked up the phone. He thought of Jefferson, how he made a promise to not accept the duel. 

“Alexander, I was wrong to challenge you to a duel,” Burr said over the phone. Burr apologizing for challenging Hamilton surprised Hamilton, and Hamilton wasn’t sure how to respond. Whatever had changed Burr’s mind, it made Hamilton grateful. But was Hamilton so sure he wanted to back out of this? 

“It’s a short commute to Weehawken Burr. I expect to see you there Friday,” Hamilton said, hanging up the phone and sighing. Jefferson made him so happy, but something about the fact Burr wanted a duel intimidated Hamilton, and he wasn’t one to be belittled or intimidated. 

Hamilton looked to the left, and then the right, his heart stopping when he saw Angelica standing there, arms crossed with a frown on her face. 

“Alexander,” Angelica said with a disappointed tone in her voice. 

Hamilton had completely forgotten that Angelica lived right next to Lafayette and Laurens, which was probably why she was there. She had Peggy’s purse in her left hand, and a scowl on her face. “Angelica, I have to do what I have to do,” Hamilton said. It was true. Hamilton loved what he suspected he had going on with Jefferson, loved the happiness it brought him. But he couldn’t handle another heart break, couldn’t handle what he feared most. So maybe he did want to go through with this duel after all, and join his son up in heaven.

It was something Hamilton felt he was supposed to do, and there was nothing that could stop him.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Redone and Reposted, I hope you don't mind. My tumblr is hamiltonsjefferson.tumblr.com

“Alex you can’t do this. Think about Jefferson, think about your friends that care about you,” Angelica said, her voice was full of sympathy, but she also couldn’t understand how Hamilton was not only open to dying by hands of another man, but was also initiating it and glad it was happening.

“Not only can I do this, I have to do this,” Hamilton said, “I know that Jefferson wants me alive. But I want to spend as much time as possible with him until I see my son again. He’s waiting for me.” Hamilton walked past Angelica, but she grabbed his arm, making him turn around.

“I’m going to tell Jefferson that you’re planning on doing this and he’s not going to be happy,” Angelica said. She wasn’t one to snitch, but she could be saving Hamilton’s life. 

Jefferson was one of Hamilton’s final shots at happiness, Angelica knew that they were made for each other. Jefferson and Hamilton were both so alike. Angelica noticed how Hamilton had an entirely different perspective on his life choices and where they would be taking him when he was around Jefferson, she noticed it all. She hated feeling like the babysitter of their relationship, but she knew that she could help them be together and happy and it wasn’t at all in her intentions to let Hamilton pull something stupid and not only end his chances of being with Jefferson, but ending his chances of seeing the light of day all together.

“Angelica, you have no right to interfere with my life like that,” Hamilton said, and in reality, she really didn’t. Angelica was important to Hamilton, and vice versa but Hamilton was an adult. He was supposed to be held responsible for his own actions, whether those actions were right or wrong.

Hamilton had to admit though, he needed someone to guide him sometimes. He needed someone to help him make those actions that were deemed right, and Angelica happened to be the person who helped him in those situations sometimes. Lafayette might’ve been there when Hamilton had his affair, but when Hamilton’s son died, Angelica was right by his side. 

“I do. Were you with Lafayette and the rest?” Angelica asked.

“I was with them, I was going to go home now, but I left my coat at Lafayette’s,” Hamilton said, he was being truthful. As much as he didn’t want to be alone, he did want to set some time aside to think about the entire Burr situation. He acted on impulse, accepting that duel, and there was still plenty of time for him to cancel. 

“I was going to change at my apartment before going over to see Lafayette, if you want you can come and we can talk about this a little further Alexander, I promise I have good intentions,” Angelica said, and Hamilton gave some thought to it. Maybe he should go with Angelica and talk it over. It would probably do some good. 

“Yeah, that’s probably be best,” Hamilton said. He crossed his arms while Angelica unlocked the door to her apartment, walking in and throwing her keys and phone onto the dining room table and putting Peggy’s purse on the coat hanger. Hamilton followed inside, closing the door on his way in. 

Hamilton followed Angelica through the apartment’s long corridor, observing all the doors to the different rooms and bathrooms. When Angelica entered her room, she went straight for her closet, while Hamilton settled for sitting down on her bed and looking around her room. It dawned that as many times as Hamilton had been to the Schyuler sister’s apartment (Mostly to visit Eliza when she still lived here), he never came into Angelica’s room, and it took him a while to take it all in. 

One of the main things Hamilton noticed was a polaroid sitting on Angelica’s vanity, one of her and Thomas Jefferson himself. “What’s that?” Hamilton asked pointing at Angelica’s vanity. Angelica stopped rummaging through her closet and looked at Hamilton and then her vanity, “A vanity. From ikea I think.”

Hamilton rolled his eyes and Angelica laughed, realizing he meant the polaroid with Jefferson. “I took that polaroid with Jefferson when you and Eliza got married. Quite the while ago,” Angelica said turning back to her closet. She picked out a random shirt and a pair of pajama pants, probably wanting to dress as comfortable as possible, knowing that all she was going to do was get tipsy and argue with her friends for the rest of the day. Hamilton looked around a little more, focusing on a bottle of whiskey on the top of Angelica’s desk. Hamilton shook his head, wanting not to question it, but it turns out Angelica noticed Hamilton’s curiosity and said “Jefferson’s, once again, me and him drank from it one night when he came over. I would never drink from it, it’s just a memento at this point.” 

Hamilton nodded, unsure of what to say. It seemed like everything in this room was connected to a memory Angelica had, and Hamilton noticed if the big Gray sweatshirt at the floor of Angelica’s closet was an exception to that. “That’s Jefferson’s too. I stole it one day from his old house in the winter, and I never gave it back. It’s pretty worn out by him, I doubt he misses it. I guess you have an eye for everything Jefferson,” Angelica said, she was looking at the sweatshirt in slight adoration, remembering the memory fondly.

 

Angelica sighed and looked back at Hamilton. “Hamilton, I want you to know that I want you alive. So, does Jefferson, and even Eliza. It’s so stupid for you to agree to a duel, I hope you know I can’t just sit by and let this happen. I’m going to change clothes now and I better get a call from you tonight saying that you cancelled your duel with Burr, before I tell Jefferson about this.” Angelica dropped the clothes she was holding onto the bed, and in result was holding Hamilton’s hands while telling him this. Hamilton couldn’t muster much, but he did sigh and say a quiet “Don’t tell him.” 

Angelica shook her head, “Don’t give me anything to tell him.”

Hamilton nodded in agreement, not having the energy to refute or argue with her. He then got up, handing Angelica her clothes from the bed and saying, “Maybe I should be on my way.”

He kissed Angelica on the cheek before giving her a tight hug and rubbing her back in the process. When Angelica walked out to change in the bathroom, Hamilton stayed around her room a bit longer. He decided to grab the polaroid off the vanity, knowing Angelica would probably go months without noticing it was gone. If Hamilton got past this Friday, he would return the polaroid when he and Jefferson were so close he could take all the photos of Jefferson he wanted just for himself. 

Hamilton looked back at the desk, and decided to grab the whiskey bottle too. If Angelica wanted to get drunk, she knew where to find alcohol. Hamilton decided that Angelica had tons of good memories with Jefferson, she could probably build a shrine for him with all the mementos she had, she wasn’t going to care about one whiskey bottle missing. 

But right before Hamilton up and left, he bended over and grabbed the gray sweatshirt too. She said it was worn out, didn’t she? She wasn’t going to wear it. Besides, it was too big for her. Hamilton almost left her apartment before he noticed Angelica’s phone on the dining room table. If Angelica wanted to be a snitch, she could find another way to do it. Hamilton knew she had good intentions but he couldn’t help himself. He grabbed the phone and left Angelica’s apartment, closing the door gently behind him.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I posted this chapter super long ago, but I didn't like it so I redid it and I'm reposting it now :) my Tumblr is hamiltonsjefferson.tumblr.com!

It was 8 AM and Thomas Jefferson was getting ready to go out for breakfast before sitting on his ass at his desk until probably midnight, doing paperwork until his hand cramped up and his fingers became stiff, calling people, and talking on the phone trying to arrange meetings until his head started hurting and he needed a break before he was positive he was going insane. 

Jefferson decided that he was going to take Hamilton to a coffee shop right next to Hamilton’s apartment; Hamilton might be moderately organized, Hamilton might be a good writer, but Hamilton wasn’t always on time. This would give Hamilton tons of time to get ready, it was a moderately short commute after all. it would also give Jefferson tons of time to collect himself on the ride to the café. 

Hamilton was in his kitchen looking for something suitable to eat, he couldn’t remember when was the last time he went to the supermarket and bought food, instead of just ordering take out and having that for breakfast. He was in the middle of reaching for milk at the back of the fridge when he heard his phone vibrate on the couch. Hamilton walked over to the couch, closing the fridge, and deciding on looking for food later, and felt his heart race when he read the contact name. 

“Thomas Jefferson.” 

Hamilton felt like a lovesick teenager. His heart was beating in his ears and his mind was racing at 100 miles a second. He smiled and took a deep breath before picking up, hearing Jefferson’s soothing voice over the phone, “Alexander, I promised I’d take you out for breakfast this morning and that’s what I’m doing. Have you heard of the café near your house, the one on 76th street?” 

Hamilton’s brain was short circuiting, he had to try and process what was going on, replaying what Jefferson said in his head over and over. When Hamilton realized what Jefferson said, Hamilton said “Yeah, the one on 76th street right?” 

Hamilton didn’t notice the fact he had literally just repeated exactly what Jefferson said a couple of seconds ago, until Jefferson was a bit reluctant before saying “That’s the one.”

“I can be there by,” Hamilton looked at the timer on his oven noticing it was 8:15 before saying “8:45?” in hopes Jefferson would confirm, Hamilton bit his bottom lip, a habit he had developed for situations where he was especially anxious.

“That’s perfect. I miss you,” Jefferson said, and it was true. Jefferson missed Hamilton’s smile, and Hamilton exhaled before saying “I miss you too.” 

After all was said and done, Hamilton realized he had to get ready. Hamilton put his phone down, and tried his best to achieving a presentable look. He started out by taking a shower, making sure to wash his hair and his face extra well, and then getting out and unknotting his hair. He brushed it thoroughly, trying not to hurt himself in the process. He brushed his teeth, and ended up slicked back his hair, and tying it into a ponytail, he felt like he had gotten ready relatively well, and not once did it hit him he was going to go out with Jefferson. He felt small rushes of adrenaline every now and then, but he was doing okay, or so he thought until the real problem had presented itself; how was he going to dress?

In the middle of Hamilton acting like a teenager getting ready for a first date, rushing to do his hair, and trying to decide what cologne he was going to wear, he had completely forgotten about what he was going to wear. He rummaged through his closet, grabbing shirts, and throwing them to the floor once giving them a second look and deciding they were no good. He wondered how he could possibly acquire so many T-shirts he could only ever wear to bed, or how he managed to poke so many holes in his slightly decent shirts. He almost gave up when he found a green dress shirt and when he turned it around to see the other side, it had a giant coffee stain that he had no time to get out. He groaned in frustration, and kept looking around, until he found what was probably the only thing he could wear, that thing being a long sleeved blue dress shirt, with all the buttons present and no stains or holes.

Hamilton smiled, put it on, and adjusted it to his best abilities. He ended up pairing it with blue jeans, ones he had no idea he owned, but thanking his luck for finding them. When Hamilton had finally gotten dressed, grabbed his phone, keys, and wallet, he checked the clock hanging in his living room and it was 8:43 and he had figured out he was running late.

 

Jefferson was waiting outside of the café, his arms crossed and his heart racing. When he spotted Hamilton, his heart stopped racing. It stopped beating altogether, and Jefferson was trying his hardest to collect himself. Hamilton was walking down the sidewalk to the café with a smile on his face so bright and so wide it took up all of Jefferson’s focus and attention. There was people who brightened every room they walked into, there was people who brightened the lives of everyone they interfered with, but Hamilton brightened the whole world. Hamilton brightened every street of New York, every memory someone had that involved Hamilton. Hamilton brightened up Jefferson’s entire life, every single corner of Jefferson’s mind. 

“Alexander, it’s a blessing to see you again,” and with this, Hamilton had finished walking up to Jefferson and Jefferson cupped Hamilton’s face, staring him directly in the eyes. Hamilton started laughing, “It’s a blessing to be here Jefferson, especially with you.”

Hamilton and Jefferson sat down in the middle of the café, Jefferson trying not to stare at Hamilton too intensely, but it was hard. Every strand of hair on Hamilton’s head made Jefferson want to run his hands through it. Hamilton’s eyes were full of positive energy. 

“We have the entire morning, make it count,” Jefferson told Hamilton, and Hamilton did. Hamilton and Jefferson went through 5 cups of coffee, 2 cups of tea, 4 bagels, and 2 croissants, all while talking about their lives and what they hoped could be. It wasn’t until Hamilton’s phone flashed a text from Peggy that Hamilton read the time, 10:30 and it dawned on Hamilton that they had been sat there for over an hour, talking about everything under the moon, and playfully flirting.

“Well, we did have until 12, but I think it’s important I bring this up now,” Jefferson said. Just like Hamilton expected, Jefferson wanted to talk about Burr, and Hamilton didn’t blame him. They had pretended like it wasn’t going on for a long enough time, and it was time to talk. “What about Burr?” 

Hamilton fell silent, the morning suddenly feeling heavy. “I told him it was off,” Hamilton said. Why not? Hamilton couldn’t tell him the truth. Hamilton needed to convince Jefferson he had nothing to worry about. That Hamilton wasn’t the same irresponsible person he was five years ago, but the thing is, he was, except now he was a liar. 

The smile Jefferson put on made Hamilton feel so guilty that he felt like he was going to throw up. “You’re a beautiful man with a beautiful life Alexander. Thank you for not abandoning that,” Jefferson said, now reaching his hand out, waiting for Hamilton to grab it. 

Hamilton did end up grabbing it, and saying “Let’s walk around, explore New York.” Hamilton knew his days were counting down shortly, he had until Friday. He needed to spend his days falling in love with Jefferson before those days had ended. 

Jefferson furrowed his eyebrows, “Good news alexander, I just found out we have more time than I thought to get to know each other. Let’s take our time.” And in Jefferson’s mind that’s exactly what was going down.

Hamilton took a deep breath and said “Just, until 12? That’s when the morning ends.”

Jefferson kissed Hamilton’s hand and nodded, “just until 12.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I haven't updated in forever, and I'm kind of right! Here's a short filler chapter, but I'll probably update again soon. School has got me messed up.

The morning went on, and Hamilton spent nothing but the entire time feeling guilty about his upcoming duel, and trying to appreciate how it felt to be with Jefferson. Jefferson made Hamilton feel like even if he died, he’d die happy. Jefferson had spent the entire morning pointing out his fond memories of New York, how he’d thrown up on the subway once when he was 6, and how every month he would go see Broadway plays with his family. Hamilton could only nod, and remorse the fact that he didn’t have any childhood memories of New York, and not only that, after Friday it wouldn’t matter. 

Hamilton wanted to be a part of Jefferson’s good memories. When someone asked why Jefferson looked at central park with eyes full of admiration, he wanted Jefferson to say that he was with one of his favorite people one of the times he saw it. In the middle of Jefferson talking about how he had to draw the statue of liberty for a class when he was in high school, Hamilton’s face turned into a scowl, realizing he would never get to visit the statue of liberty again after Friday. 

“I didn’t do the project right, my teacher yelled at me for hours- What? What’s with the scowl?” Jefferson asked, realizing how Hamilton had his brows furrowed and his arms crossed. 

“It’s nothing, I’m sorry,” Hamilton said, shaking his head, and trying to smile. Jefferson gave a look of worry, and Hamilton shook his head once more, urging Jefferson to finish.

“Alexander, is there something bothering you?” Jefferson asked, and it made Hamilton sigh and shrug, “Maybe.”

Jefferson grabbed Hamilton’s hand and walked him to a nearby bench, sitting down and patting the spot next to him. Hamilton sat down, and Jefferson wrapped his arm around Alexander’s shoulders, raising an eyebrow at him. Jefferson leaned in and looked Hamilton in the eyes, and Hamilton narrowed his eyes.

“I’m cold,” Hamilton said, and Jefferson sighed, shaking his head, and unwrapping his arm to take off his coat. “You’re giving me your coat? That’s what level our relationship is at?” Hamilton asked, his heart racing. 

“Relationship? You wish Alexander,” Jefferson said, laughing and giving his coat to Hamilton. Did Jefferson and Hamilton’s situation count as a relationship?

“And so do you,” Hamilton said, grabbing the coat and leaning back in, taking a second to appreciate Jefferson’s face, and Jefferson was still smiling.

“Maybe,” Jefferson said, and he put a hand to Hamilton’s face. Jefferson had one thing on his mind, making the kiss he was about to have a kiss to remember, until his phone rang, making Hamilton jump and making Jefferson groan. 

Jefferson read “Aaron burr.” Flash across his phone, and Jefferson sighed, picking it up and rolling his eyes, hearing Burr already yelling. 

“Jefferson, we have work to do, get back here now!” Burr yelled, and Burr was up the wall with how many people had been calling Burr’s office requesting to speak to Jefferson.

“I’ll be there, don’t stress out Burr,” Jefferson said, hanging up the phone because he knew Burr was going to yell again, and Jefferson wasn’t in the mood for it. 

“I’m sorry Alexander,” Jefferson said, standing up and shaking his head, “Presidential duties call, but I’ll be back soon.” 

Hamilton went to go beg Jefferson to stay, but decided against it, just nodding and saying “I’ll look forward to it.”


End file.
